Difficult conversations at work should not be avoided
Avoiding a difficult conversation may seem like a tempting solution to escape immediate discomfort, but it can often lead to more serious problems in the long run.
It is an easily explained human behavior. Most of us tend to run away from awkward situations for various psychological and social reasons. We fear a potential conflict, which creates insecurity and vulnerability.
In the business world, avoiding difficult conversations can be the road to bankruptcy. Wrong decisions can thrive, relevant facts can be “shelved,” and people can go on feeling uncomfortable with certain everyday situations.
Putting sensitive issues on the table requires us to face the fear that expressing a point of view may lead to judgment or rejection. The fear of being criticized or misunderstood can cause people to avoid the conversation.
In addition, we need to develop our communication skills. Some people may not feel “equipped” to handle difficult conversations. A lack of assertiveness and empathy can make the challenge even harder.
Therefore, one of the main functions of management is precisely to create the organizational environment needed for difficult conversations to be recognized as fundamental to the survival of the business. And for them to be conducted in a deep and orderly manner.
In this sense, always try to define the key terms discussed in the difficult conversation... even if that is uncomfortable.
For example, what does "enough" mean to you? How can we define it in objective terms? If it is about your performance at work, how does your boss define "productivity"? Our conflicts are often fueled by noise like this more than by anything else.
Another positive practice is to replace judgment with genuine curiosity. Curiosity can turn a potentially heated discussion into a pleasant conversation. Instead of rushing to defend your arguments, ask for more clarification. Replace rebuttals with: "I want to understand better. Can you explain that a little more?"
Also allow room for silence throughout the interaction. Preserving silence so that ideas can sink in is better than talking just for the sake of talking. It also gives the other person the opportunity to finish their reasoning completely. Allow silence even if it is a bit unpleasant at that moment.
In certain cultures and social contexts, aversion to direct confrontation is more common, and an indirect approach is more advisable. What matters is that we are able to make this reading beforehand so that we can adjust the “tone” of our difficult conversations. That way, we increase our chances of success.
Avoiding difficult conversations guarantees comfort. Facing them invites growth. Which do you prefer?
